Semester task: Solution to Problems Essay.
'Teenage girl kills herself 'after Instagram poll' in Malaysia'.
Social networks, such as Instagram harm our mental health and can lead to such consequences as: lack of sleep, low self-esteem and even suicide. A Malaysian 16 year-old girl committed a suicide after a poll on her Instagram in which she asked, if she should die or not. The majority of votes was affirmative, so that is why she killed herself. What should people do in such situations to avoid suicide?
First of all, that situation clearly shows us that we shouldn’t listen to opinion of different people on social networks, especially if we don’t know them very well. Do things according to your own opinion! People who said ‘yes’ to her question definitely didn’t take it seriously and didn’t do anything to talk her out of suicide.
Secondly, instead of showing your problems on social networks, these people ought to talk to their parents or close people about their mental problems and emotional state. Such people need parental love and attention like no one else.
Thirdly, if a person is preserved or lonely, he or she should contact support services. People there can get profesional help of psychologists and trust them.
Finally, for people who have a depression, it may be useful to delete social networks or spend less time than usual. British scientists of the Royal Society of Public Health in Great Britain made a conclusion that Instagram harms our mental health more than other social networks after interviewing 1.5 thousand people of different age. Therefore, the scientists state that beautiful photoshopped life of celebrities, negative opinion of followers make young people feel miserable and not beautiful enough. https://bit.ly/2qzeLic
In conclusion, from my point of view, we shouln't trust every opinion on social network,instead of that, we ought to have our own. Besides, we should remember that there aren't any problems without a solution and suicide isn't wise decision.
https://bit.ly/30uEpnY
Social networks, such as Instagram harm our mental health and can lead to such consequences as: lack of sleep, low self-esteem and even suicide. A Malaysian 16 year-old girl committed a suicide after a poll on her Instagram in which she asked, if she should die or not. The majority of votes was affirmative, so that is why she killed herself. What should people do in such situations to avoid suicide?
First of all, that situation clearly shows us that we shouldn’t listen to opinion of different people on social networks, especially if we don’t know them very well. Do things according to your own opinion! People who said ‘yes’ to her question definitely didn’t take it seriously and didn’t do anything to talk her out of suicide.
Secondly, instead of showing your problems on social networks, these people ought to talk to their parents or close people about their mental problems and emotional state. Such people need parental love and attention like no one else.
Thirdly, if a person is preserved or lonely, he or she should contact support services. People there can get profesional help of psychologists and trust them.
Finally, for people who have a depression, it may be useful to delete social networks or spend less time than usual. British scientists of the Royal Society of Public Health in Great Britain made a conclusion that Instagram harms our mental health more than other social networks after interviewing 1.5 thousand people of different age. Therefore, the scientists state that beautiful photoshopped life of celebrities, negative opinion of followers make young people feel miserable and not beautiful enough. https://bit.ly/2qzeLic
In conclusion, from my point of view, we shouln't trust every opinion on social network,instead of that, we ought to have our own. Besides, we should remember that there aren't any problems without a solution and suicide isn't wise decision.
https://bit.ly/30uEpnY
Yana,
ОтветитьУдалитьthanks for sharing your essay with us. You have chosen an urgent topic for discussion and presented the basic arguments well. However, overall your essay needs further development because the first 3 body paragraphs are too short. You need to discuss the points you have mentioned further. Paragraph 4 can serve as a good example how you should develop the other paragraphs. Also, your essay will benefit from a more memorable conclusion which can be done by using one of the techniques for conclusions we discussed during one of the lessons. Check the Writer's Web at http://writing2.richmond.edu/writing/wweb/conclude.html
Thank you very much for checking my essay. I will take a look at the Writer's Web that you has already sent to me.
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